


How to Catch a Penguin

by ShiTiger



Category: Penguins of Madagascar
Genre: Anthropomorphic, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-18
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2017-11-18 22:47:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/566124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShiTiger/pseuds/ShiTiger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On a top secret mission, Agent Nigel meets his arch-nemesis, The Red Squirrel, for the first time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Penguins of Madagascar (or I'd pair these two up so fast...). I make no money from this story.

 

_(Location: Russia)_

 The two penguins slipped through the air vents of the abandoned factory.  Super Secret Agent Dylan turned to look at his young apprentice and made a quick decision.  “It looks like the Count is alone, so his new partner must be here somewhere.  I want you to go look for him while I deal with the owl.”

 “But... I've never gone **solo** before,” Nigel whispered, bright green eyes widening in shock. 

 “You'll be alright, lad.  Remember, you're looking for an animal wearing a black eye-patch.  Now get going.” Dylan shooed his protégé off with a wave of his flipper.  The young penguin glanced back at him before sliding around the corner of the chute. 

“Good luck, lad.”   Turning around, the older penguin made his way back over to the barred opening so he could keep an eye on the evil owl villain, Count Victor von Sova.

 ***

  _~Eye-patch.  Eye-patch... Lots of mice, but none of them seem to be wearing an eye-patch~_

 Nigel slipped out of the air vent and hid behind a mountain of boxes so he could get a better look around the large room.  Mouse, mouse, mouse, **_squirrel_** , mouse, mouse... Wait a moment!  The penguin's gaze returned to the larger rodent striding through the room with a basket of muffins. 

 The elegant creature stopped near him, turning to place the basket on a small table.  A long and fluffy red tail swept from side to side behind him.  _~I didn't know squirrels could move their tails like that~_

 “Mice, the Count wants you all gather in the main room,” the attractive rodent commented with a clear Russian-accent. 

 Watching the smaller animals vacate the room, Nigel was tempted to slip back into the air vent.  Unfortunately, the squirrel would see him if he tried.  He would just have to wait for the little **housekeeper** to leave so he could continue his search for the evil, eye-patch-wearing villain of unknown species. 

 Shaking his head, the penguin turned his attention back to the squirrel - who was no longer there.  Well, that was easy.  Nigel waddled out of his hiding spot and tiptoed in the direction of the air vent.  

 “Hello.”

 The penguin jumped and spun around quickly, heart pounding in his chest as he met the hazel-brown eye of the squirrel smiling at him.  The other eye seemed to be closed tightly, as if injured in some way.  _~Well, at least he isn't wearing an eye-patch~_

 “You must be new.  I am Red.  And you are...?”

 Nigel wracked his brain for a good cover story, but nothing came to mind.  That crimson fur was far too distracting.  A tilt of the hips and a curious look from the squirrel had the penguin blurting out his name without pause.

 “It's nice to meet you, Nigel.  The Count mentioned we were getting a new maintenance worker, but he didn't say you'd be this... attractive,” Red purred, swaying into the penguin's personal space. 

 “Oh... right.  Yes, I'm the new maintenance worker.  I should get to work then.” Nigel waddled back a step, but the squirrel followed, looping his slim arm around the bird's flipper and tugging him gently toward the table. 

 “You must be hungry.  I just love acorns.  Do you like acorns?” The mammal gazed up at him, leaning his head on the penguin's shoulder. 

 “Um... well, I'm more of a fish type of guy,” Nigel admitted, stuttering at the unexpected attention. 

 “You don't want to try one of my acorn muffins?” The squirrel turned away and covered his eyes with his hands, shoulders shaking. 

 “No, no.  I mean, yes, I'll try one.  I'd be delighted to try one,” Nigel piped up, forcing a smile onto his beak. 

 The squirrel twirled around, his tail brushing across the length of the penguin's back, making Nigel blush under his feathers.  Red quickly picked up a muffin and held it out to the bird, smiling adorably as the penguin took hold of it, flipper and paw touching briefly in the exchange. 

  _~I'll eat the muffin and then get back to my mission.  No harm, no foul.  Agent Dylan really doesn't have to know~_

 Nigel was surprised to find himself scarfing down the delicious and tender muffin.  He almost asked for another, but held himself back.  Now was not the... time... The penguin swayed back and forth, his vision becoming blurry. 

 Red sighed and shook his head, pulling an eye-patch from behind his back and slipping it over his closed eye.  Nigel wanted to shout, attack or do something, but he was just so tired.  The penguin's eyes slid closed and his body slumped to the floor.

 ...tbc...


	2. Chapter 2

“Lad, are you alright?  **Nigel!** ”

Dylan's voice woke Nigel from his restless sleep.  The older penguin helped him to his feet and steadied him when he swayed.  His body still felt weakened from whatever drug the squirrel had slipped into the muffins. 

“Ah, so your little apprentice is finally awake.  Just in time for the show,” a deep voice swept through the room.  The penguins turned their attention to the giant, grey owl clicking his way across the floor on his taloned feet. 

 “Red, this is Super Secret Agent Dylan and his fluffy little apprentice.” The Count waved a wing in the direction of the cage.  The copper-furred squirrel next to him smirked at the birds, his perfectly-aligned buck teeth hanging over his lower lip. 

 “Actually, Victor, **_we've met_**.  This is Nigel, spy-in-training.  If you look up ‘Gullible’ in the dictionary, you'll find his picture,” Red commented, his lovely tail sweeping behind him in amusement. 

Dylan patted his young apprentice on the back and glared at the pair through the iron bars of the cage.

 “And now, on to the main event.  Red, if you would be so kind,” the owl commented, gesturing to his apprentice. 

 Nigel watched the squirrel dart across the warehouse floor until he reached a computer console in the middle of the room.  Sharp claws tapped at the colored buttons without pause, the rodent's single eye focused entirely on the task at hand. 

 A _‘whirring’_ noise filled the air as a trapdoor in the center of the room began to slide apart.  Before the stunned eyes of the penguins, a grey rocket began to emerge.  It soon towered over them, the tip stopping mere inches from the ceiling. 

 “For years, I struggled to develop the most **_terrifying_** weapon this world had ever seen.  A device that would cloud the skies until day became eternal night _._   And now, with the expertise of my new apprentice, **The Temhota Ray** is finally complete!  I will plunge the world into utter darkness and the humans shall know true fear!” The count's evil chuckle echoed the room. 

 Unnoticed, Nigel had stepped softly to the door of the cage the moment the owl began his evil monologuing.  The bird of prey had been completely focused on impressing Agent Dylan, which gave the agent-in-training time to subtly unlock the door with his hidden lock picks.  Never leave the base without them, his mentor had advised.

 Moments later, the owl turned away from the cage, and spread his wings to gesture widely at the rocket.

 “Nigel, now!” Agent Dylan ordered.

The penguin dove out of the cage and sprang into action.  The mice scattered like – well, mice.  Agent Dylan went flipper to wing against his feathered foe, leaving Nigel to confront the crimson-furred scientist. 

“Step away from the control panel, Red,” the young agent warned, slipping into a martial arts stance.  The squirrel returned his words with a silky glance, his tail swishing erotically behind him as he leaned against the computer console. 

 “Or what, **_Agent Nigel_**?” the mammal asked, his gaze running up and down the penguin’s body suggestively. 

 “Or…” Nigel paused, trying to keep his heart rate under control at the squirrel’s obvious interest.  “Or I will make you step away.”

 “By all means,” the one-eyed scientist purred, not moving from his spot.  “Make me.”

 The taunt did not go unnoticed.  It shivered up the penguin’s spin as he reluctantly threw the first punch.  The squirrel met his attacks with the grace of a dancer.  His lean body twisted and weaved in and out of Nigel's reach.  The petite creature's karate-like counterattacks were surprisingly strong, betraying the muscle in his thin arms. 

 Nigel literally found himself falling head over heels for the young mammal when a luxurious red tail swept him off his feet.  Recovering quickly, the penguin rolled to the side, avoiding a near-blow to the gut. 

 Leaping to his feet, the agent-in-training quickly went on the offensive.  The squirrel smoothly dodged his wing attacks, before hurdling himself against Nigel’s ivory chest.  The pair landed in a ball of punches and kicks, each attempting to subdue the other. 

 Nigel soon lost track of the time.  It was as if the entire world revolved around crimson fur and a single golden eye.  When their combined strength and stamina finally came to an end, the spy found himself flat on the ground with his enemy sitting on his chest. 

 An ominous beeping caught their attention, moments before the Count shouted, “RETREAT!”

 Red grinned down at the young penguin pinned beneath him.  “You fight well, Agent Nigel.  I look forward to meeting you again.  _Do svidaniya._ ”  The mammal took advantage of the chaos to press a quick **kiss** to the penguin’s startled beak. Before the penguin could protest, the scarlet-furred mammal was already darting across the factory floor with the mice scattering around him. 

 Agent Dylan grabbed his protege and rushed him out of the factory as the bomb counted down. 

 

**3**

**2**

**1**

 

**B    O    O    M   !  
**

 

***

 “Dylan... I'm sorry,” Nigel commented, breaking the silence that had stretched between them as they watched the smoke billowing from their enemy’s former hideout. 

 “For what, my boy?”

 “I let myself get distracted... twice,” Nigel admitted, inwardly worried that he’d be demoted after this failed mission. 

 “I'll let you in on a little secret.  There isn't one agent who hasn't been distracted by a villain.  They're evil, not stupid.  Why, when I was a lad, Victor and I...”

 “Yes, yes, I get it.  You really **don't** need to give me the details,” the younger penguin squawked, his cheeks reddening at the thought. 

 Agent Dylan just laughed at his words, before gesturing for Nigel to follow him.   “I say, the Count’s new apprentice has a quite a **pretty** red tail.  It would certainly be enough to catch any penguin’s attention.  Why, if I was your age…”

 Nigel felt his face getting hotter at the mention of the squirrel’s most attractive attribute.  The last thing he wanted to be thinking of was his mentor being attracted to Red in any way.  Ew.  That was just… ew!

 “Dylan!”

 ***

  **Note:** Sova is the pronunciation of coba (Owl in Russian)

  **Note 2:** Special thanks to **The Dimensional Princess** for reminding me to update this fic.  I had most of it written, but still had to fill in a few missing pieces.  I hope you enjoyed part 2!

 Yes, I know I’m reusing the rocket from the TV series, but I do have a reason for that.  Find out more in **“Meet Mr. Red.”**  


End file.
